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The Global Insight

What is emotional stonewalling?

Author

John Johnson

Updated on April 06, 2026

Stonewalling is a persistent refusal to communicate or to express emotions. It is common during conflicts, when people may stonewall in an attempt to avoid uncomfortable conversations or out of fear that engaging in an emotional discussion will result in a fight.

What to do when you are being stonewalled?

So, if you are stonewalling and feeling flooded, say that you need a break using whatever signal, word, or phrase you and your partner have decided upon. Let each other know when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Then, you need to walk away and do something soothing on your own.

How do you know if you are being stonewalled?

Signs of Stonewalling

  • Ignoring what the other person is saying.
  • Changing the subject to avoid an uncomfortable topic.
  • Storming off without a word.
  • Coming up with reasons not to talk.
  • Refusing to answer questions.
  • Making accusations rather than talking about the current problem.

Is stonewalling a form of Gaslighting?

In fact, when partners rely on stonewalling to deal with relationship problems, it usually signals an impending breakup. When someone does this behavior regularly, they may begin to doubt their value as a person or feel like they’re going crazy. This is a natural response because this behavior is a form of gaslighting.

How do you break stonewalling?

Stonewalling – Ways to Deal with It

  1. Typical Stonewalling Behavior.
  2. Defense Against Being Overwhelmed.
  3. Emotional Suppression.
  4. Aggressive Manipulation.
  5. In the Workplace.
  6. Realize You Are Probably Not the Problem.
  7. Keep Your Side of the Street Clean.
  8. Take Care of Yourself.

What happens when you call out a gaslighter?

Gaslighting tactics will escalate if you attempt to call them out on the lies they are telling. They will start to come up with evidence to prove they are right about your inferiority and uselessness. They will refute the evidence. The gaslighter will deny, blame, sow doubt, and add more false claims.

What are the 3 signs of emotional suffering?

The Campaign to Change Direction () outlines the 5 Signs of Emotional Suffering:

  • Personality change in a way that seems different for that person.
  • Agitation or displaying anger, anxiety or moodiness.
  • Withdrawal or isolation from others.
  • Poor self-care and perhaps engaging in risky behavior.

What are the physical signs that someone is struggling emotionally?

Physical symptoms include:

  • Heaviness in your chest, increased heart rate or chest pain.
  • Shoulder, neck or back pain; general body aches and pains.
  • Headaches.
  • Grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw.
  • Shortness of breath.
  • Dizziness.
  • Feeling tired, anxious, depressed.

Is it possible to deal with a stonewalling person?

Everybody has experienced or performed one or more of the “Four Horsemen” at some point. While it is difficult to deal with a stonewalling person, it is harmful to yourself to stonewall. However, we can offer hope for improvement from both sides of the coin. “Need To Learn How To Deal With Stonewalling? You’re Not The Only One.

When does a couple Stonewall in an argument?

Stonewalling usually occurs when a couple is having an argument – its triggers are disagreements, accusations, and unmet expectations expressed by the partner. Then one of the partners shuts out emotionally, becomes silent and refuses to clarify their feelings or desires anymore.

Why is stonewalling a bad habit in a relationship?

Even if you know how to define stonewalling, it may not seem like a big deal to you, but stonewalling is one of the most destructive habits in a relationship. In fact, when partners rely on stonewalling to deal with relationship problems, it usually signals an impending breakup.

When does stonewalling become an ” out ” in the Four Horsemen?

It takes time for the negativity created by the first three horsemen to become overwhelming enough that stonewalling becomes an understandable “out,” but when it does, it frequently becomes a habit.